Hello! It’s been 8 months since I last uploaded a blog post onto My Tricky ‘Trichy’ Life, but university is over and I’m ready to continue what I started!
I apologise for the long silence, but I promise that I will redeem myself!
In fact, in the next few months (I hope!) as soon as I have saved for and purchased a suitable camera, I plan to start vlogging!
I’ve wanted to do this for a while actually, but I wanted to wait until I had more time to do it regularly and I feel like that time is now. I want to raise awareness for my condition on the largest scale that I am able and a vlog seems like a good way to expand and develop what I started here.
Plus, there are times that I feel unable to articulate my thoughts and feelings about Trich in writing, even though I can do so verbally – and the vlog will serve well in those times.
So that’s a very scary and exciting prospect for me and one I will keep you in the loop about!
Now onto the more serious stuff:
These past few months, I have been selfish.
When I started this blog, I told myself I would continue no matter what, sharing with you all of the good, the bad and the ugly. Then on this blog and my social media, a pattern began emerging, that went like this:
SHAVE HEAD. TRACK REGROWTH. PIXIE CUT, DYED UNNATURAL COLOUR. PULL. PULL. PULL. DAMAGE. BALD PATCHES. SHAVE HEAD…
And I felt embarrassed.
What was I doing? Why was I advertising my failure for everyone to see? Why was I attempting to set some kind of example when I myself didn’t even (and still don’t now) fully understand my condition?
And with those questions running through my mind, I took a step back from blogging, focused on my university studies and dealt with my Trich privately.
And many of you will believe that is perfectly fine, and a part of me knows it is and that it was necessary – but I still feel guilty about it.
Because I promised myself I would share all aspects of the condition and be as truthful as could be, and I didn’t.
And the messages I used to receive from other Trichers that would tell me about how they had had a bad day but felt better after seeing something I’d shared because it reminded them they were not alone, stopped.
And I realised that if I’m not using my own experiences and struggles to learn on the behalf of others and share that knowledge to help them, then this condition is wasted on me and I have no purpose.
I’ve just finished university and I’m now at a crossroads in my life, where I have to make hard decisions and answer difficult questions: What do I want to do and who do I want to be?
1) I want to make a difference in the world, a positive one.
2) I want to be happy and appreciative of the things I do have.
3) I want to be someone who helps others to recognise their worth, because sometimes even now, I can’t see my own.
That’s all I know.
And Trichotillomania, the condition that has come close so many times to ruining me, ironically might actually be leading me down the right path.
So, My Tricky ‘Trichy’ Life is back and it’s here to stay! Onwards and upwards from here!
Thank you for reading!